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I remember thinking I found the key to life when I discovered heroin. What I had really found was the devil. I chased that devil for more time than I would like to admit. In that time I had lost everything I had ever loved or valued including my family. I started trying to get sober at the young age of 18.
All efforts were thrown out the window as soon as heroin came to mind. I ran away from almost every treatment center I ever went to. I was a chronic relapser. Before I found recovery I found myself homeless, hopeless, and helpless. When I walked through the doors of my last rehab one of the first faces I saw was Sabrina Best. In those few months we spent together we laughed, cried, and joked like never before. At the time my family wasn't speaking to me, so I created somewhat of my own.
She was a very big part of my life and recovery. She showed me how to laugh and have fun in sobriety. I found a sponsor while there and started my work on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I started feeling something I had never felt before, it was God. When I was around four months sober I discovered I was pregnant. I was scared. I had my heart telling me one thing and my head telling me another. Along with countless others opinions of what I should do. Sabrina told me to follow my heart, and I did. With that decision to have my daughter came with a lot of tough choices.
One big one being my living situation. I couldn't have my daughter at a sober house. So I made the decision to go into a mom and baby program/homeless shelter. I felt like I was taking 10 steps back. Through it all I stayed sober. I kept putting one foot in front of the other and I kept looking forward. What really happened was I took 10 steps forward. Through those decisions I gained my family back.
Not only my blood family, but a whole new one through Alcoholics Anonymous. That's what made it so hard when I lost one of my family members, Sabrina. I worked at Dollar Tree until 6 days before I had my daughter Nola. 6 days after I had Nola I was given a job working in this field at a women's sober house. I promised to not let Sabrina, or any of my other “families” deaths go in vain. I was a little over a year sober when I was gifted with my daughter and my dream job. I was reunited with a man I loved. He fell in love with my daughter.
We went on to get a little apartment in boston. It wasn't much but it was the first thing I could finally call mine. A year later I found myself pregnant with my son. That's when we decided to start looking for our first home. I trusted in God like I had my whole sobriety and he came through with our perfect house.
Today I still work in treatment, I sponsor women, and I continue to do the next right thing. I thought I found the key to life in heroin. I really found the key to life in sobriety.